It was just another day for Indra, as he mounted his great
white elephant and headed to the sky with the sun in tote. Indra has carried
the sun into the sky each and every day since the creation of the Earth in
order to give light to all of the Earth’s creatures. He took great pride in his
responsibility and inevitably developed a strong connection with the sun, which
he considered to be one of his most prized possessions. He would polish it
every night so that it would never lose its radiant glow.
This day, nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary as he meticulously placed his magnificent orb in its proper location except he couldn’t help but feel that he was being watched. After a careful scan of the Earth below, Indra caught the gaze of a spry young monkey.
This young monkey was Hanuman, who would grow into the king of all monkeys, but that was to be many years in the future. Hanuman marveled at the splendor of this massive golden sphere. He looked longingly at the sun, for he had come to the conclusion that this was a gigantic mango. Hanuman’s mouth began to water with anticipation of the sweet juiciness that a mango of this size would provide. Indra realized that the young monkey had been deceived into thinking that his sun was a fruit and laughed at his foolishness for thinking he could ever jump that high.
Just as his hearty laugh was subsiding, Indra’s amusement turned to shock. Hanuman had taken a great leap several thousand leagues into the sky! Indra could not believe the power this young monkey had, but was even more amazed at the audacity of Hanuman’s attempt to steal HIS sun!
The furious god conjured up an ominous cloud formation and let loose a jagged lightning bolt straight at the impious monkey. Hanuman never saw the bolt since his eyes were transfixed on the glowing mango-like globe. With a thunderous crash, Indra sent Hanuman screaming back to Earth.
Dazed by the strike and with singed fur and a broken jaw, Hanuman finally came to his senses. He looked back into the sky to see a seething Indra, ready to send a second bolt if Hanuman made any further attempt at a theft of his precious sun. Hanuman acknowledged his error and begged for forgiveness from the rightfully furious Indra.
Hanuman’s tear filled words were candid and, although known for his temper and rash judgment, Indra went against his normal ways and forgave the young Hanuman. Indra realized that this was just a youthful mistake and believed the lone lightning strike to be a sufficient punishment.
Hanuman never forgot his encounter with Indra and never dreamed of crossing him again.
This day, nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary as he meticulously placed his magnificent orb in its proper location except he couldn’t help but feel that he was being watched. After a careful scan of the Earth below, Indra caught the gaze of a spry young monkey.
This young monkey was Hanuman, who would grow into the king of all monkeys, but that was to be many years in the future. Hanuman marveled at the splendor of this massive golden sphere. He looked longingly at the sun, for he had come to the conclusion that this was a gigantic mango. Hanuman’s mouth began to water with anticipation of the sweet juiciness that a mango of this size would provide. Indra realized that the young monkey had been deceived into thinking that his sun was a fruit and laughed at his foolishness for thinking he could ever jump that high.
Just as his hearty laugh was subsiding, Indra’s amusement turned to shock. Hanuman had taken a great leap several thousand leagues into the sky! Indra could not believe the power this young monkey had, but was even more amazed at the audacity of Hanuman’s attempt to steal HIS sun!
Image source: Hanuman trying to steal the sun
The furious god conjured up an ominous cloud formation and let loose a jagged lightning bolt straight at the impious monkey. Hanuman never saw the bolt since his eyes were transfixed on the glowing mango-like globe. With a thunderous crash, Indra sent Hanuman screaming back to Earth.
Dazed by the strike and with singed fur and a broken jaw, Hanuman finally came to his senses. He looked back into the sky to see a seething Indra, ready to send a second bolt if Hanuman made any further attempt at a theft of his precious sun. Hanuman acknowledged his error and begged for forgiveness from the rightfully furious Indra.
Hanuman’s tear filled words were candid and, although known for his temper and rash judgment, Indra went against his normal ways and forgave the young Hanuman. Indra realized that this was just a youthful mistake and believed the lone lightning strike to be a sufficient punishment.
Hanuman never forgot his encounter with Indra and never dreamed of crossing him again.
Authors Note:
I chose this story as an expansion of a brief reference made about how Hanuman was able to jump a great distance and should be the one to make the jump to Lanka in order to gather information. This reference was from Myths of the Hindus and Buddhists by Sister Nivedita (1914) in the PDE Ramayana. I wanted to show why Indra intervened at Hanuman's attempt to take the sun, which he thought was a fruit. In this story Indra believes the sun is his and furious that Hanuman tries to steal it. I also, wanted to paint Indra in a more positive light because I have noticed that most sources say that Indra couldn't control his temper. I made Indra a more rational god that was capable of forgiveness without being forced.
Bibliography:
Hanuman's Leap from Myths of the Hindus and Buddhists by Sister Nivedita (1914)
The beginning of your story reminded me of the titan Helios in Greek Mythology who is tasked with carrying the sun across the skies in a golden chariot. Is Indra actually responsible for caring for the sun in the epics or was that part of your creative expression in writing the story. I enjoyed the way that you used the monkey’s ambition for comedic affect.
ReplyDeleteMy inspiration for having a god (Indra) being responsible for the sun was definitely from my limited knowledge Greek mythology. I don't know if Indra is specifically in charge of the sun in Indian culture, but from my research he is responsible for most weather. I took the liberty of making this one of Indra's tasks.
DeleteHi William!
ReplyDeleteGreat story! I love how you made a link in the story for Indra and Hanuman. That is clever and I may copy that and use it in my future stories. I am barely familiar with the characters and some of our audience will be as well. It is good to anticipate them wanting to know more.
Your author's note is helpful to explain what you changed in the story. Indra is an interesting part of the whole story. I like that you want to show compassion to Indra.
Your blog is nice, however, your story is a bit difficult to read visually because it is in a big block. If you could break it up into several paragraphs it would not feel so overwhelming to try to read.
I did not notice any other types of distractions with your grammar or spelling. Overall I like your story. I look forward to seeing more of your work this semester.
Will,
ReplyDeleteWow! I was honestly in awe of your writing. It is so descriptive that I could really imagine the young monkey leaping up to the Mango, only to be sent back to the earth by Indra. I thought your writing also had an element of humor which was refreshing.
I think that a critique that I would give you would be to break your story up into some paragraphs as it seems quite daunting to read when first looking at it. That didnt really take away from your writing much though as it was really well written and cohesive!
Thank you for the kind words! I took everyone's advice and broke the story up into less daunting chunks, so I hope it is easier to read now.
DeleteI like that you expanded on the encounter between Indra and Hanuman. This made for an exciting story! Showing a pore compassionate side of Indra made this a happy story, which most people enjoy more. I wouldn’t have liked to see Hanuman try for the sun again and get hurt even further or even killed. Your font worked well for this story and I had no problem reading the words, as they were a good size. I think you could have used paragraphs to show where the emphasis is changing throughout the story. If you had paragraphs you maybe could have put the picture after the one that contained Hanuman jumping for the sun. It is a great picture to use because it captures the main idea of the story. Great job with this story though; it was very entertaining to read! I look forward to reading more of your stories in the future.
ReplyDeleteHello Will,
ReplyDeleteI randomly chose your story to read and comment on. Great story along with the great description. I really enjoyed reading your way of retelling the story. I liked it how you made it based on Indra and Hanuman and showed a relationship between both, which I feel was a nice idea. Plus, imagining sun as a mango was a great way to show the monkey wants to reach it. Addition to that, I really like the picture of Hanuman and the sun he was trying to get which helped in visualizing the story. Overall the story was great, but I would say one thing about the formatting. It would have been great if the story was written in a paragraph form. It would have made it easy to read. Overall, great story. I would love to read more of your retelling stories in the future. Thanks for sharing.
After looking back at the story and reading everyone's comments, I decided to break the story up into smaller segments. This was a great suggestion and I also moved the picture to coincide with the jumping of Hanuman thanks to Taler's helpful suggestion. Thank you all for the kind words and advice!
ReplyDeleteWill,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your story because Hanuman is one of my favorite characters from the Ramayana. I liked how you went into depth as to why Indra struck Hanuman which led to the breaking of his jaw. After reading your last comment about the format change, I must add that the current format looks good and helps your story flow. I really like the picture you chose because it made it easier for me to visualize Hanuman leaping towards the mango-like sun. Great job!
Will,
ReplyDeleteHa! Hanuman thinking the sun was a mango. That is awesome! I never read this story so it was brand new information to me. The use of Indra was well placed. I think it would have felt more personal if the entire story wasn’t told in 3rd person narration. What if you had added a conversation between Indra and Hanuman? How would that have changed the dynamic of the story?